Stress and release of stress

I am soooooo sorry for the lack of posts. This blog is literally going to be about why I haven't been blogging and that is because: Year 10 is extremely stressful (haven't anxiety doesn't help sight hat either).

So, as you probably know, year 10 is the second to last year of secondary school, and in year 10 you do practise GCSE exams and mocks. Recently I've done a lot of exams - for all of my lessons - and the revising is so over the top my stress levels have reached the maximum. 

I've had breakdowns, panic attacks, and my anxiety has hit the roof on multiple occasions, also my minor depression has kicked in a lot more frequently now too.

But there's a good side to this. Although the stress is extreme and drives me insane because o can't sleep at night, I'm doing this to help me. To help my future and my chances of doing better.

For those who don't know, I used to want to be a vet, then a chef, and now I want to be a full time YouTuber. I have my own channel now and I love doing it so much. YouTube honestly relieves my stress because I'm doing something I love. I'm recording a video where I am confident and do the thing I enjoy: hair, make up, and just random challenges with my family and friends. 

So although the stress is very high, I have the things that a positive, and I'm sure everyone of you guys and girls do too. 

Some people have different ways of relieving stress and mine is watching and recording for and on YouTube.

Some people enjoy going out for walks, looking after pets, meeting their friends, and lots of other things to help their stress levels decrease.

School is generally quite a emotionally and mentally challenging environment and for those who say "I hate school" or "I wish I never had to go to school" (and I'm not going to lie; I say it to), we have to look at the positive sides of school:

Our future will be improved,

Our knowledge will be good,

Our learning ability will be high,

Our social and communication skills will be really great.

And lots more.

As a person who suffers from social anxiety, I do find school a challenge. I find it difficult to communicate to new people and I stay very distant from a lot of people. I even sometimes excluded myself from my friendship group. But that's why I have my backups: my blog and my YouTube channels. 

What relieves stress for you? Let me know in the comments because I'd love to hear about it.

Ayshee 

xx

Autumn is officially here!!

I'd like to apologise for the lack of posts, I've been so busy with course work and homework as a year 10, and it's been very stressful, so, I'm sorry, but let's get on with the blog.

Autumn is now here! 

It officially turned Autumn last week(ish) and the trees have already started losing their leaves and changing colour, and I'm soooo excited.

When it starts getting more Autumny and the trees lose a lot of leaves, me and my friend are going to a lake around the local area and lots of photos will be taken and posted on my blog. 

Every now and again, I might take some random photos on my phone and stuff, just to post on my blog. And since Autumn is the prettiest month of the year (in my opinion), constant amazing photo opportunities pop up everywhere, so it's so handy having a good phone that takes great photos. 

Although this is a short blog, I just wanted to let you know, that there will be some images of photography (they will all be taken by me) posted on my blog for you guys to see. 

I hope you're looking forward for them and I love you all so much.

Ayshee

xx

The hard days

As a teenager, I have days where I'm more upset than normal. The last 5 days I've felt this. Nothing terribly bad has happened or anything, it's them type of days where you feel that if you drop your pen, you want to break down and cry. 

The problem with me being so stressed, upset and my panic attacks are getting worse, is that I'm pushing everyone away, friends, family, everything. I just feel alone and upset 24/7.

Although I know I have people there, I just want to be alone as well as feeling alone, and it's honestly so hard. 

I wish I could change.

I wish I could think before I speak.

I wish I could be kind to those around me.

I wish I was happy.

On top of all of this, I have my parents at me. The only time they've spoken to me in the past 5 days, are to either have a go at me or ask me to do something for them, and that's annoying. Like, really annoying, and even after doing stuff for them (after they talk to me like rubbish) they tell me I'm selfish and lazy, and instantly, I fight back. I start fighting my battles and sticking up for myself (I never swear at them or insult them in any way, as I think that's wrong), I tell them I'm not selfish, I'm not lazy and I do too much for my age.

I mean, I'm 14 years old and I can't even do my homework because I'm busy doing things for my mum. 

However, even if I'm going through the worst few days, I'm a carer. A Young Carer. I go to groups every week (either on a Wednesday or a Thursday) and although I still sit by myself and keep myself to my myself, I feel comfortable and happy. Even if I'm not saying a word. And going to them groups make me stronger. I sometimes do one on one sessions with a lady (let's call her H) and she gives me advise, and tells me to be strong and believe it will get better, because eventually, I'm sure it will, and I can't wait for it to all be alright again.

I haven't spoken to my parents - properly - for 5 days, I will post when everything is sorted to let you know how long it's been.

My blog is the first place where I feel most comfortable, hence why I posted on here. I honestly don't know if anyone is reading my blog, but if not, I'm not too bothered, because I don't need people to feel sorry for me in order to feel better. I just need to write. But if you are reading my blog, thank you and I love you.

Ayshee

xx

It's almost Autumn time!

I love Autumn and I'm so excited for it to almost be the time of year, where the leaves fall off the trees and a variety of reds, yellows, oranges and browns are scattered across the ground.

I find that Autumn is the perfect and most lovely time for photography and the different colours make it more effective. I will be taking many pictures during the Autumn time and will post the majority of them here, on my blog. 

The only problem with Autumn is that it begins to get cold as it's getting ready for the upcoming winter, and I'm a very cold blooded person. I get cold easy, so therefore enjoy the heat. But besides the fact that the wind will be heavier and full of cold air, it can't stop me from loving the Autumn time. 

I naturally really enjoy wearing scarfs, so that's another thing to look forward to; scarfs and hats.

The best things in Autumn are the things you can hear, feel, see, smell and taste (the 5 senses). In my opinion:

- Hear;

The crunching of the leaves as you stand on them,

The pitter-patter of the more frequent rain,

The movement of trees dancing with the wind,

The quiet cheeping of birds.

- Feel;

The warmth on your neck from (a) scarf(s),

The cold air on your face.

- See;

The colours,

The leafless trees,

Pets and children jumping into leaf towers.

- Smell;

The fresh air,

Bonfires.

- Taste

The smoke in the air,

Nature.

Not only is Autumn just great for photography, videography etc. but a few events are held during the course of September - November. Such as Halloween and Bonfire night. 

Who else loves Autumn and is excited for it? I know I am.

Ayshee

xx

Disney

Since I've been a little girl I've been obsessed with Disney. 

Still to this day, I'm obsessed with it.

I love the songs, the characters, just everything about Disney. 

I love Disney Princesses. When I was little my favourite was Snow White (from Snow White.. Obviously), now my favourite is Belle (from Beauty and Beast).

There's nothing abut Disney that is bad, they are the perfect film.

If you've heard people say "you're never too old for Disney." Trust me, it's true. My parents still watch Disney and enjoy every moment of it.

My top 5 favourite Disney movies:

1) Beauty and the Beast

2) The Little Mermaid

3) The Lion King

4) Pocahontas

5) Aristocats

My top 5 favourite Disney songs:

1) Part of that world - The Little Mermaid 

2) Colours of the Wind - Pocahontas

3) Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast

4) On my way - Brother Bear

5) We are One - The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride

My top 5 Disney characters:

1) Belle - Beauty and the Beast

2) Ariel - The Little Mermaid

3) Kiara&Nala - The Lion King&The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride

4) Pocahontas - Pocahontas 

5) Koda - Brother Bear

What are your favourite movies, songs and characters from Disney?

What do enjoy the most about Disney?

I was listening to some Disney songs on my Spotify, and got the idea of writing the blog. I know it's the most random blog ever, but oh well. Blogs are blogs, post whatever you want, random or serious, it doesn't matter.

Hope you enjoyed the rather, random blog.

Ayshee

xx

Pumpkin

Final pet: Pumpkin

Name of Pet: Pumpkin 

Type of Pet: Hamster 

Breed of Pet: Cream Banded Syrian

Current Age: 1 year

Birthday: 7th January 2014

Day of Adoption: 7th February 2014

Picture of Pet on first day of Adoption:

Other Info:

Pumpkin was very easy to tame. He cooperated really well and loves been handled.

He has never bitten anyone and he is lovely.

He is ginger and white, and has the cutest black eyes.

He loves playing in his ball, and running around on my bed and my floor. He loves his exercise wheel and enjoys chewing his chews. 

He's very hyper and loves trying to see my dogs (but he can't, for safety reasons). He loves sleeping in his blue igloo, and eating his favourite treat; cucumber. 

Pumpkin doesn't drink as much as you'd expect, but he drinks enough. Either way, he gets given 4 small bits of cucumber a day (2 in the morning, 2 at night), and cucumber is a water based vegetables so he gets water in his system anyway. 

Pumpkin suffered from head trauma last year and it made his right eye a lot smaller than his left. His left eye pops out (like it should do) whereas his right eye doesn't, this means he has a high chance of going blind in his right eye.

He has a very big cage which he goes in for summer, but since he's getting old, he could pass away any day soon, so he stays in his small cage, just so if he does go over he rainbow bridge (hamster heaven), he can be comfortable.

Hopefully, he's got a little while yet though. He's an amazing little boy and I love him so so much.

Favourite Picture of you and pet or just the pet:

Date of picture above: 5th April 2014

Bobby

Next pet: Bobby.

Name of Pet: Bobby 

Type of Pet: Dog

Breed of Pet: Jack Russell

Current Age: 1 year

Birthday: 2nd August 2013

Day of Adoption: 6th December 2014

Picture of Pet on first day of Adoption:

Other Info:

Bobby is just as crazy and energetic as his twin brother Pip.

Pip and Bobby were 'reunited' on December 6 2014, and they've gotten on well and stuck together since. 

Bobby finds learning new things very difficult. He was treated very badly before I got him and never taught anything. Bobby was beaten by belts before I managed to get him to move in with my family, but luckily, he's with a loving family who treats him well. 

Bobby has now been living with us for just over 7 months, and I have been training him every day since, and he still hasn't quite got the jist of it. He knows how to sit (but only when food or treats are involved), he doesn't know how to lie down or wait/leave yet, but it's slowly but gradually getting there.

Before Bobbby was taken by me, he wasn't treated the right food, and he was not on the right diet. He was given left over food from owners dinners, rather than dog food, so he had a lot more weight than Pip. He's still bigger than Pip, but he's not over weight

He was very food orientated when he first moved in, but now he's eating the right food diet and is the healthy weight for his age.

He's such a friendly dog and loving to people as well as other animals. He's great.

Favourite Picture of you and pet or just the pet:

Date of picture above: 12th March 2015